Owners' Blog

Help! My Mother is Resisting the Elder Care She Needs

By Hilary and Greg Eldridge

As a family caregiver, you want your aging mom to be safe and healthy at all times. However, with declining health, she may be at risk for sickness, injury or chronic problems, especially if you can’t be there for her all the time. You’ve probably looked at in-home elder care providers and perhaps even suggested them to your mother. It’s common for aging adults to become quite stubborn about accepting an elder care provider into their home. If this is like your situation, what can you do?

Understand Her Reasons for Resisting Care

Too many elderly adults dig in their heels are refuse to engage whenever the conversation of in-home care is brought up. Your elderly mother may have many different reasons to resist this kind of care, but it’s in your best interest to try to understand why. When you finally understand why she is not open to the idea, you can work through it and alleviate her concerns.

Some of the most common reasons for elderly adults to stubbornly refuse elder care providers include worry about a lack of privacy, concerns about cost, fear about growing old and sick, and embarrassed that they need help at all. Other emotions such as pride, grief, anxiety, anger and denial can all play a part in your elderly mother’s stubbornness when it comes to working with an elder care provider. You need to have several conversations about her reasons so you can address each one to her satisfaction.

Tips on Dealing With Stubborn Seniors

There are many ways that you can influence your older mother’s feelings about finally getting an elderly care provider in the home. The first thing to do is always put elderly care services in a positive light. Instead of noting how it is for people who can’t take care of themselves anymore, reframe it so that it is viewed as help for her to spend more time on hobbies or socializing. Explain that an elder care provider can do housework, laundry and meal prep, in addition to helping her get dressed, shower and go shopping.

Other tips on persuading seniors to cooperate with elderly care providers include recruiting trusted individuals like friends, doctors, clergy, neighbors and other family members, to help. Always let her be part of the conversation and help with decisions so she feels in control of her own life. Finally, consider doing a trial run of elderly care services so she can see what it is like without a full commitment. She may really bond with one or more of the individual elderly care providers and the transition will be that much easier.

If you know it is time to start the conversation about in-home care with your aging mother, but you suspect she will be stubbornly resistant to care, you must not give up. It’s well worth it to implement effective strategies that will help encourage cooperation for in-home care.



If you or an aging loved one are considering hiring elder care in Lawrenceville, GA, please contact the caring staff at Home Helpers, call (678) 430-8511.