Community Blog

What Can You Do if You're Facing a Ton of Criticism as a Family Caregiver?

By Denise Roskamp

Criticism isn't easy to take as a family caregiver. You're likely overwhelmed, tired, and worried that you're not doing a good enough job as it is, and now someone is criticizing you. Figuring out how to cope is essential.

Try to Detach from the Criticism

As a caregiver, you're inherently involved and attached to the caregiving situation. That means that any time someone criticizes something that is going on with your loved one's caregiving situation in any way, it feels much closer to you than it really should. Separating yourself and your identity from the caregiving situation will go a long way toward helping you to keep your perspective.

Avoid Taking the Criticism as a Personal Attack

When someone has a criticism that they share, it's almost always worded in such a way that it's hard for the average caregiver to see it as anything other than a personal attack. But what if you responded differently? That way, no matter how the criticism is phrased, you can stop feeling each criticism as a personal statement against you and your decisions.

Address What You Can Address

If you're honest, some criticism, once you remove the personal attack from it, might actually have some merit. There may be some bits and pieces of useful information in the criticisms that you receive from other people. That's why it's worth taking the time to step back from the emotions of the criticism and view them from a purely objective point of view. You might find something you can use.

Ask the Criticizer for Ideas

Once the criticizer has had her say, ask her for ideas to solve the problem she's bringing to your attention. This might be the last thing that your criticizer expects, of course. It's also possible that your criticizer doesn't really have a better way to do something. Brainstorm with your criticizer. Talk about the options available, such as hiring home care providers and discuss the pros and the cons. Use the person's willingness to criticize as your opening to help you find a better way to do things.

Remember to smile and know that you're doing the best you can with the situation that you have.

IF YOU OR AN AGING LOVED ONE ARE CONSIDERING HOME CARE IN WAYLAND, MA, PLEASE CONTACT THE CARING STAFF AT HOME HELPERS TODAY. CALL NOW (508) 545-0164.