Community Blog

How Can You Cope When Your Loved One Doesn't Want Your Help?

By Denise Roskamp

If you've asked your loved one to allow you to help her and she turned you down, you might feel as if you don't have any real options. These tips can help you to get through those difficult conversations.

Open a Dialogue with Your Loved One

The first step is to start an open conversation with your loved one. Really listen to her objections to having you help out more as her family caregiver. It's possible that what she's really concerned about is something that you can work around. Until you talk about it, though, you don't know for sure what your loved one's full objections are.

See if There's a Compromise for You and Your Loved One

Once you know what is keeping your loved one from agreeing, you might be able to see a compromise that you and your loved one can make with each other. This might involve you only helping with specific issues or only helping when your loved one expressly asks for your help. The compromise that works for you and your loved one may be completely different, but the willingness for her to compromise can be a good sign.

Look for Other Solutions

Even if a compromise isn't an option, there may be other solutions. For example, your loved one might be uncomfortable with you helping her, but having elder care providers helping her is less worrisome. This can be an issue of privacy or feeling that you're too close to her.

You May Have to Give In

In a worst case scenario, you may have to simply give in to what your loved one wants right now. This can actually be a big help to you later, especially if your loved one realizes that she does need help. The fact that you didn't force her into doing things the way you wanted to do them can actually be a selling point from your loved one's point of view later.

It's really painful to see your loved one in need of some help and yet have her turn you down. Even if you have no choice, you can still remind her that you love her.

IF YOU OR AN AGING LOVED ONE ARE CONSIDERING CAREGIVERS IN SOUTHBOROUGH, MA, PLEASE CONTACT THE CARING STAFF AT HOME HELPERS TODAY. CALL NOW (508) 545-0164.